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My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrock, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defence is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part about the bratwurst. Why? You'll just have to trust me. Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we'll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherwordly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT...
David Wong has updated the Lovecraft tradition and infused it with humor that rather than lessening the horror, increases it dramatically. Every time I set the book down down, I was wary that something really was afoot, that there were creatures I couldn't see, and that because I suspected this, I was next. Engaging, comic, and terrifying.-- Joe Garden, Features Editor, The Onion "Wong is like a mash-up of Douglass Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement." --Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tep "That rarest of things--a genuinely scary story."--David Wellington, author of Monster Island, Vampire Zero "JOHN DIES AT THE END has a cult following for a reason: it's horrific, thought-provoking, and hilarious all at once. This is one of the most entertaining and addictive novels I've ever read."--Jacob Kier, Publisher, Permuted Press STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.
Weird and terrifying and that's the good guys ... SHAWN OF THE DEAD meets GHOSTBUSTERS filtered through a very twisted mind tHE LOCAtION: Undisclosed tHE tHREAt: UnconFirmed (but scary as hell) OUR ONLY HOPE: two high school dropouts who really have better things to do with their time than prevent the apocalypse Its street name is Soy Sauce - a drug that lets its users drift across time and dimensions. But sometimes, those who come back bring something with them. Suddenly, a silent otherworldly invasion is underway, and mankind needs a hero. What it gets instead is John and David, a pair of dropouts who can barely hold down jobs. Can these two stop the oncoming horror in time to save humanity? No. No, they can't ... "Wong is like a mash-up of Douglas Adams and Stephen King ... 'page-turner' is an understatement." Don Coscarelli, Director, PHANtASM I-IV, BUBBA HO-tEP "compelling-against-all-odds ... laugh-out-loud funny" KIRKUS REVIEWS "the book's smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next." PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Now with never before seen pages from David Wong's next book Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. From the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes. WARNING: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You can't see it, because it decides what you see. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. So what happens when your family, friends and neighbors get mind-controlling skull spiders? We're all about to find out. Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.
A Winner of the 2016 Alex Awards Nightmarish villains with superhuman enhancements. An all-seeing social network that tracks your every move. Mysterious, smooth-talking power players who lurk behind the scenes. A young woman from the trailer park. And her very smelly cat. Together, they will decide the future of mankind. Get ready for a world in which anyone can have the powers of a god or the fame of a pop star, in which human achievement soars to new heights while its depravity plunges to the blackest depths. A world in which at least one cat smells like a seafood shop's dumpster on a hot summer day. This is the world in which Zoey Ashe finds herself, navigating a futuristic city in which one can find elements of the fantastic, nightmarish and ridiculous on any street corner. Her only trusted advisor is the aforementioned cat, but even in the future, cats cannot give advice. At least not any that you'd want to follow. Will Zoey figure it all out in time? Or maybe the better question is, will you? After all, the future is coming sooner than you think.
In a world full to bursting with would-be heroes, Jim couldn't be less interested in saving the day. His fireballs fizzle. He's awfully grumpy. Plus, he's been dead for about sixty years. When a renegade necromancer wrenches him from eternal slumber and into a world gone terribly, bizarrely wrong, all Jim wants is to find a way to die properly, once and for all. On his side, he's got a few shambling corpses, an inept thief, and a powerful death wish. But he's up against tough odds: angry mobs of adventurers, a body falling apart at the seams — and a team of programmers racing a deadline to hammer out the last few bugs in their AI. *Mogworld is the debut novel from video-game icon Yahtzee Croshaw (Zero Punctuation)! With an exclusive one-chapter preview of Yahtzee Croshaw's next novel, Jam—coming to bookstores in October 2012! *Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw's video review site, Zero Punctuation, receives over 2,500,000 unique hits a month, and has been licensed by G4 Television. *Yahtzee's blog receives about 150,000 hits per day. "The first legitimate breakout hit from the gaming community in recent memory." -Boing Boing
Welcome to New York City, Population Zero? The power grid has collapsed. There is no running water, no light, no heat. The massive neon signs of Times Square are dark now, and the subway trains crouch silent in their tunnels, waiting for commuters who will never return. An epidemic of staggering lethality has passed over the city and left nothing living in its wake. And yet the city is not deserted. The dead have returned to life, and they're hungry. The millions of people who once worked and lived in New York have been turned into cannibalistic monsters whose only function is to consume. No living person would dare enter the city--it would be suicide. Dekalb doesn't have a choice. He must protect his daughter's future, and that means retrieving vital medical supplies from the UN building in Midtown. A cadre of teenage girl soldiers have been recruited to help him find what he needs, and get back alive. They're well armed. They're devoted to their mission and willing to sacrifice anything to pull it off. But the odds against them are staggering. Especially when it turns out that not all zombies are created equal. Deep inside the city a medical student named Gary comes back from the dead different--his mind is intact. He can still think and feel. He's hungry, just like the rest, but unlike them he can plan, plot, and scheme. He can even lead the others, bending them to his will. Soon he has a small army at his command, a growing mob of rotting corpses all devoted to one cause: to find meat for their master. When Dekalb and Gary cross paths sparks will fly, destinies will clash--and the future of humanity will be decided, one head shot at a time.

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